Friggin A...

Friggin A why is it so hard to talk to a pretty girl you want to get to know? Is it the fear of rejection? Perhaps it's the fear of embarrassment. Perhaps its a combination of the two.

I just don't understand why it's so difficult for me to talk to a girl I find attractive. For the past couple of weeks I have had my eye on this one girl. She commutes into the city same time as me. We take the 7:43. She usually boards the second to last car and I usually wait for the last car. I keep playing this scenario in my head where we would meet each other on our walk from the car to the platform, however I keep missing her by the slightest second.

So today, I decided to deviate from my normal routine of waiting for the last car of the train and follow her and wait where she waits. Of course, my shyness/fear of rejection/fear of embarrassment took over and I failed to say "Hi, good morning." So later I decided to take the 6:05 train home, the train she normally takes, but yet again I failed to say anything.

It's just so frustrating knowing you could be throwing something away by not saying, "Hi." I keep telling myself just say, "Hi," if it blows up then go back to your normal routine and never see her again, but when the time comes, my heart starts to beat really fast and I get all clammy and cotton mouth and nervous and just stand their, probably looking like an idiot, with the occasionally glances at her and then looking the other way.

ARRRRRGH!! why is this shit so difficult. Tomorrow will be the day. I AM GOING TO SAY HI (at the least)